Always the Last to Bed

I always thought this would be a great book title. This is a phrase I think to myself every time I get on the scale and especially as the years go by, I think to myself wow, I’ve never weighed this much! I’m fatter than I’ve ever been! It seems depressing but sometimes you just gotta laugh.

Let’s get real. Out bodies change as we get older. Im still wearing the same size pants as I was 20 years ago but somehow I weigh 10 pounds more. I’ve birthed 2 kids. I’ve lived through a financial crisis, a pandemic, various family catastrophes, getting laid off, a Sauvignon blanc phase (what was I thinking?) and plenty of other issues. Even though I’m “fatter than I’ve ever been”, this body has gotten me through it all.

What’s even more interesting is that 20 years ago I used to look in the mirror and look at the scale and think “I’m fatter than I’ve ever been!” But here I am, like way fatter than I was 20 years ago and I’m still thinking “I’m fatter than I’ve ever been.” So I guess my point is not really that I’m not fat (because let’s face it, I could lose a few), but that this is reality showing me that I’m having a little trouble living in the moment.

If I were living in the moment, I might be able to say hey I’ve gained a few pounds but I can lose them. Instead I jump right into “I’m fatter than I’ve ever been!” Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Because it’s simply not true.

I look back at photos of myself in my 20s and 30s and I look fantastic. I’m definitely not fatter than I’ve ever been at that moment in my life. But I can assure you, I did look at the scale at that time and think “I’m fatter than I’ve ever been” which is laughable now because I was the cutest little thing. Ahhh….youth.

You know what else really gets my goat. The fact that my husband can go to the gym 3 times and diet for a week and lose 10 pounds. Men are so lucky! The weight seems to come off so easily. I cringe whenever I’m in the bathroom and he jumps on the scale, “down 11 pounds!” I’ll try to mutter “Wow, that’s great” and roll my eyes pretending it’s part of the mascara routine as I look into the mirror. Ladies, we can’t compare ourselves to this nonsense. The fact that a man is able to lose 10 pounds in a week by cutting out chips and soda and some ice cream and work out three times is proof that we are an entirely different species.

I feel like I’m getting off topic a bit. I don’t think my husband has ever had an I’m Fatter than I’ve Ever Been moment, so let’s forget about him. This is about the way we think. Thinking about the past has never made me thin. This is not the past. This is now. What a difference it would make if I planned for the future me, not pine for the “past” me. The mind is a beautiful thing. Why do we let our minds remind us how we used to look, and want that and not visualize ourselves as thin in the future. Honestly I have no idea. But it seems to make sense to me and there’s some truth to manifesting, I know it’s true! Something’s got to change over here because lamenting about the past is not making the scale move! From now on I’m going to try to focus on thinking I’m Thinner Than I’ve Ever Been! Do you think it will work?