Always the Last to Bed

When kids are under 5, you might hear “Mommy, where are you?”, “Mommy, hand me my drink!” and the favorite “Mommy, I pooped, and I’m done!”

But one day, it changes. One day, you’re no longer “Mommy”. Just when you least expect it, you very simply become “Mom.”

It happens suddenly and out of nowhere, maybe like this…you’re at a public place, like a bookstore and you hear from across the room, “Mom! I found the book!” And there it is. It’s out there, in time and space. Lingering in mid air. You hear the difference immediately. Loud and clear, actually. Who is this “Mom” person?? And what happened to “Mommy?” A small ping hits the stomach. It’s happening.

It just sort of slips out. Maybe un-intended. But is it, really?? Have you ever thought that maybe they thought about it for a while and are trying it out on you. There just might be a psychology behind this transition. Maybe they hear a friend say “Mom” and then wonder if they should say it too? Is it peer pressure? Does a light switch go off inside or some sort of internal baby talk alarm get activated at a certain age? I wish I could remember that far back into my childhood to understand when I started calling my Mom, “Mom”, but honestly I have no clue.

It’s ok I guess. It’s all part of the Mommy Letting Go that we all have been practicing since the day they’re born. I mean, I can’t demand that they call me Mommy. That would be so controlling! Who ever heard of such a thing! 😭 This is a natural progression, I tell myself.

But is it?? At what age is too old to call your Mom, “Mommy”??? It happened to me when my daughter was maybe 8. She tried out my new name at home. I could feel her smiling as she said it, wondering if I would say something. I don’t remember what she asked for, but I responded just as usual, acting like my new name was ok with me. Like it didn’t phase me. Rolled right off my back like nothing. But it really was like a sharp dagger.

It’s in these moments that I say to myself- this is what I’m here for. To be here for her and meet her where she’s at. Just because I’m still enjoying being “Mommy” doesn’t mean she is still in her Mommy phase. And so we adjust. And marvel, she’s growing up! That’s where she’s at. Just like she’s supposed to be. Who would hold her back? Not me. Silently sobbing inside.

What I want to know is, do Dads go through this sort of thing too????