Always the Last to Bed

It all started in my friend’s Mom’s kitchen where she kept Andy Garcia and George Clooney tucked away. Sandy was the coolest Mom, we all looked up to her. Everyone wanted to tell her about their boyfriend troubles, how Brandon wanted to have sex already but they weren’t ready, or how they snuck out at night to hang out with Theo but they felt guilty and they didn’t know how to see him otherwise because parents were so strict. See, Theo had a motorcycle and was from the wrong side of town- he went to public school and hung out in the cemetery drinking with his friends on weekends. And we weren’t really those kind of girls. Well, except for one crazy night over St. Patrick’s Day, but that’s a story for another day. Sandy listened to all the stories, gave great hugs and sage advice – without judgement.

Sandy was Italian American royalty but smelled like French perfume. She spoke with a New York accent, had blown out long brown hair, wore red lipstick and short shorts. She wore bikinis in the family pool, smoked Virginia Slims and listened to Elton John. She was the Cool Mom.

Once you stepped into Sandy’s home, you felt safe. You could tell her anything and she was there for you. She could also tell a mean joke, spot a fake person from a mile away, and of course, she had mad decorating skills. Gorgeous printed statement wallpaper, plush pastel carpets, gold faucets and dried flower arrangements. It was the 90s after all!

One morning after a sleepover, I opened a kitchen cabinet to grab a glass for water and was surprised to see Andy Garcia taped to the inside of the cabinet, wearing a button down red silky shirt open at the top, showing a chest of gold necklaces. His dark luxurious hair was slicked back, and a suit jacket was flung over his shoulder. He stared right in my eyes with his sultry dark brows. “Coffee with Andy will brighten anyone’s day” Sandy said from behind me, warming up her coffee with a second pour and smiling at my discovery. “Why not have a little fun- I can dream, can’t I?!” She said, referring to the cut out magazine photos taped in the cabinet.

She’s the one who did this- she claimed it. My friend’s Mom full on ripped a page out of a magazine and taped it to the inside of her cabinet. This was so funny to me, I loved it. Sandy was married and all, but there was nothing wrong with a little Andy in the morning. George Clooney was also there, happy and smiling in his professional white Doctor’s coat with a stethoscope around his neck. As a teen, Sandy’s brazen statements made with a few pieces of tape and People Magazine pages seemed so unexpected, one part crazy housewife and one part sassy single hot chick. I wouldn’t dare do something like that at my house, my Dad would flip. Sandy was so cool!

It wasn’t until I was in my 30s with a toddler that I put my very own Andy in the cabinet. I was reading a US Weekly magazine and there he was – Andy Garcia, featured in an ad, a little older but he still looked damn good. I ripped him out and taped him up inside my kitchen cabinet where I kept my coffee and filters, laughing to myself. I guess I’m this suburban housewife lady now that does this crazy shit. Soon, Ryan Gosling followed. Then recently, Timothee. Why not? I can dream a little! My daughter joined in and Taehyung and Jin are also there now. I mean who can resist Jin’s recent photoshoot in Korean Vogue wearing head to toe Gucci and some bad ass red leather gloves. I’m fine with it. Each of them are currently accompanying the morning pour. And yes, the coffee is always hot!