Always the Last to Bed

I recently went back into the office since I have been at home working remotely all this time since Covid. For the past 6 years, I only went in for important meetings, group events and maybe once or twice a week just to do something different. But recently being in the office 5 days a week has me thinking, “Am I now ‘The Old Lady’ at work???”

At my first job many many years ago (lol) at an ad agency in Los Angeles, there were two “older ladies” who sat in an office every day at lunch and played cards. They used typewriters, their hair teased high – probably the same since the 80s. They wore polyester button down shirts, lipstick and smelled like Ellnet and Chanel No. 5. I’m pretty sure they smoked a few cigarettes in their offices too. When you walked in their office to ask them something, they’d put down their cards with a huff like you were the annoying snot nosed kid they were watching over for the day. These ARE the classic Older Ladies in the office…for point of reference.

Some of you who are also suddenly over 50 and back in the office might have some of these same thoughts. Sure I guess I’ve aged in the past 6 years so I know that’s a truth. Age doesn’t lie. I have Gen Z and Gen Alpha daughters so they do their best to keep me young but I’m still 53. I feel young in spirit and young looking- at least in my clothes, hair and makeup choices. There’s no way my girls would let me sport a side part, any of my Mom cardigans or pre-Covid pencil work pants to the office. Not to say those are bad but they don’t like them on me and I trust them. Hey, why not listen to the kids? I’m in my 50s!

The last time I was in the office, I was in my 40s. And now it’s 6 years later, and I’m in my early 50s. When I’m swiping in on the daily at 8:58am, I’ll be honest, I’m starting to feel a bit different being here and I thought I’d write about it. You might be feeling it too.

The first thing that’s different is routine BS like saying hi to everyone in the kitchen. Nope. Just don’t have the patience or energy for small talk anymore. Why? If I say hello to you at 8am when I’m making coffee, I’m going to see you again in the kitchen maybe 2-3 more times today when I get water or my lunch. So can I just say hello the first time and then get a pass for the rest?

Then there’s carrying all my shit to and from the car. Let’s face it, this has always been a shitshow, but now, more than ever, I need one of those grocery carts on wheels to get all of my crap from the garage, the elevator, through the front doors and then to my desk.

And then there’s the at-the-desk shenanigans. Honestly, I try if by chance am in a good mood, but I just can’t smile at everyone who walks by my desk. Am I supposed to greet everyone with a smile from my fish bowl? Like when they walk by and look at me and at that same exact moment I happen to look up and our eyes meet. Smiling at this moment is painful and I simply don’t have time for it.

I’m definitely sure some of you can relate to these situations, no matter your age.

But what really struck me is the feeling I get when I walk around the office and see that I might be one of the oldest people on my floor. Shut your potty mouth! I’m thinking to myself. Stop with these ageist thoughts, Alexis!! I don’t know everyone’s age but judging by looks and absence of grey hair alone, it certainly seems that I am one of the oldest around. Is this a bad thing?? No, but I’m definitely not over here playing cards!

So my question is, is there something that I should do so I’m not labeled as an Old Lady at work? Stop by and talk to people? Smile at everyone? Buy a Tesla? Buy a backpack work bag? Wait, I already have one of those. Buy fresh plants for my office…decorate my office??? That is just not my personality. Here’s a thought: Quit and be a writer and then slowly retire. But would everyone miss the Old Lady at Work?!